There has been a steady stream of taglines in the form of questions for many decades. Some have become classics (Clairol. Does she or doesn’t she? Only her hairdresser knows for sure.) but most of them have been lazy attempts to avoid actually asserting a particular benefit.

Old Country Buffet: What’s on your plate?
Taco Bell: Want some?
MCI: Is this a great time, or what?
McDonald’s. Did somebody say McDonald’s?
Microsoft? Where do you want to go today?
Van Kamp’s Pork and Beans: Did somebody eat Van Kamp’s?
Funeral Parlors of America: Are you dead yet?
Mr Clean: You call that shiny?

Okay, I made up a couple of those. Nevertheless, resorting to a question is not unlike resorting to one word. It’s a lot of work to articulate a benefit in an interesting, memorable way. It’s much easier but also very foolish to let the consumer fill in the blanks, when the blanks are so wide open.

Having said that, I think that a couple of more recent question/taglines actually do a reasonably good job, because they clearly imply the benefit, with no room for misinterpretation.

Excedrin. What Ache?
Glad Bags. What Smell?

Of course, you see the problem. Now that both of these brands have executed the same kind of question/tagline, that should pretty much rule this approach out for any other brands, right? This formula is sufficiently exampled that it becomes too obvious and easy, and any new lines of this ilk will be far less effective as a result. The idea has been diluted.

That’s not to say no one else will come out with a “What ____?” In fact, it’s very likely, because that’s the state of advertising today. Shameless, lazy and clueless about how taglines work most of the time.

I was just licking my chops, getting ready to eviscerate the new taglines from Ram and Jeep, but, dag nab it, these targets are just too easy. My Tank Is Full? I live. I ride I am. Jeep? The degree of corporate self delusion that somehow led to these lines, especially when these car companies are struggling to survive, is hard to fathom.  This sophomoric “I am America” kind of writing is wincingly self-conscious and simple-minded. What is wrong with these people? Is this really indicative of the depth of  understanding these guys have of their customers? Whatz!?

Of course, in a sense, one word can obviously be a tagline because there are lots of them littering the tagheap. Remember United Airlines. Rising. ? And then, more recently, Ally. Straightforward., Coca Cola. Enjoy.,  Hyundai. Win. and so on. I’ve railed against one-word taglines for a long time. One word is seldom a coherent thought of the kind that taglines need to be. Instead, one word is far too open to interpretation. It’s just lazy, self-defeatingly cryptic shorthand that delights only the art director/designer who only has one word to deal with as they make the the logo and tagline look nice together. Perhaps if a brand has the budget to inundate us with enough messages that it successfully interprets for us what the company means to express with that one word, maybe then one word can become a tagline over time. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen that accomplished. Having said all that, I confess I’m intrigued by the most recent example of a one-word tagline I’ve come across: Monsanto. Imagine. The green “ag” part is what has given me pause. It’s clever. It’s almost like they stuck a second word, “agriculture”, in there somehow. Yet, neither Imagine Agriculture nor Agriculture Imagine constitutes a coherent thought. Nevertheless, because of the green “ag“, you can derive a vague proto-thought from this one word tagline. I would still rather see them articulate just what thought they actually intend by this word. But I begrudgingly give Monsanto credit (I don’t give props because no one has ever been able to tell me what that term means, where it’s derived from) for stopping me and making me think.

This is a text book example of the value of a good tagline. For as long as I can remember, Kay Jewelers’ advertising has been spearheaded by wincingly contrived TV spots that are lamely written, badly acted, sappy,  consisting of presumably touching romantic moments culminating in the delivery of a piece of jewelry. I’ve yet to see a spot that works. YET, every spot ends with that little tagline-put-to-music, Every Kiss Begins With Kay, which instantly and totally eclipses the faux emotion that preceded it. I dare say no one can recall ANY of the dozens of TV spots they’ve produced over the years. But that tagline is ubiquitous, permanently imbedded in our psyches. The line is unabashedly schmalzy and sentimental, but in the jewelry category, it’s fully justified. And, for those who believe a good tagline should not be usable by a competitor (I’m not one of them) this line doesn’t simply contain the brand name, it inextricably entwines the name into the thought expressed by the line. I tip my corduroy cap to the person who wrote that line.

Sometimes the least exciting brands can spawn inspired taglines. And because the brand is bland, the tagline stands out even more in contrast. Three examples.

On-Cor. The Family Size That Satisfies. Not blindingly brilliant, but wonderfully musical. I applaud the ad agency for persevering and finally persuading the client to explore beyond For Two Or More, It’s On-Cor. On the other hand, the TV spots seem to load us up with two or more taglines, which is not good. And the mutation on their website, For Taste and More, It’s On-Cor, is misguided. On-Cor is a “value brand” pure and simple, and trying to persuade us that their products are REALLY YUMMY, in addition to being inexpensive, is silly.

Pam Helps You Pull It Off. I love this line. It’s a nice, quiet play on words and tt lays the groundwork for some much better that average TV spots playing with exagerated situations resulting from food sticking to pans and such.

Take Beano before and there’ll be no gas. I know it’s kind of corny, but, hey, it does a great job of leveraging the brand name, seamlessly intertwining the name with its benefit. And, if ever a brand had license to be corny, it would be one that reduces flatulence, right?

I feel it’s my duty to call attention to tagline trends/fads to help you avoid any blandwagons when choosing your tagline. Here’s one: Taglines that consist of three words (or pairs of words), each followed by a period, and, together summing up a process, usually the process you will presumably experience as a customer/end user of that particular brand.

Fisher Price. Play. Laugh. Grow.

Constant Contact. Connect. Inform. Grow.

Keurig. Choose, Brew. Enjoy.

Alibaba.com  Find it. Make it. Sell it.

Dell. Learn. Grow. Succeed. (Actually, this may just be a headline, not a tagline. I couldn’t tell for sure when I saw it in a Dell ad recently.

ABF U-Pack Moving. You pack.  We drive. You save.

These are just a few of many out there. This is not a new formula. but it seems to be enjoying a resurgence lately. Let me know if you spot others.

This kind of tagline is often the end product of laziness on the part of the writer and the brand that settles for such a line. They may think it boils the brand down to its essence, but if that’s all there is to their essence, they are one boring, generic brand.

If you must carry such a tagline, do me a personal favor. Choose three INTERESTING words, rather than drawing from the limited tagline vocabulary we’re constantly subjected to.

One variation on this formula that I actually like, is Ellen Degeneres’s. Her tagline is

Laugh. Dance. Something. [the third word varies according to the context, i.e. “Live.” or “Hydrate”. The customization of the line by keeping the third word flexible allows Ellen to pound home the differessence of her brand, “Laugh. Dance.” while keeping the thought fresh by varying the third word.

Kudos, Ellen.